Socialization & Ethics formation

So here we sit on this life boat that is currently spinning on its axis in its orbit around the Sun. The numbers of people on this great planet are just to vast to truly comprehend thus we create in-groups and out-groups so that heuristic thinking makes it easier to save cognitive energy, thus making shortcuts in decision making and judgment calls. This makes it easy to discriminate between judgment calls, Not between peoples but between causes of action. Ethical calls do have a lot to do with in-group and out-group discrimination.
Both Cunningham (2008) & Wells (2004) brings to the fore front the importance of Learning, & Modelling that shapes, moulds, and drives the formation of Character through experience and schemata building, while we are immersed in society.

All of us are born into a world that imposes values upon us, the values, beliefs, and social taboos, all in under the concept of socialization training, so that we may fit into the society, with its prebuilt values & beliefs. Thus our home, school, peers, and media is the "Eton" and formative social group, the mask that we are covertly forced to wear from birth onward, until the self becomes that which was once a mask. Eton was the training ground for the solders that went to Waterloo to fight against Napoleon under the command of Duke of Wellington. Wells (2004) uses this metaphor to illustrate the importance of preparation for one's own life's ethical decisions. These decisions are thus a product of years of preparation so when an action is needed, no decisions is needed, because the decisions was made years ago.


The Mask of conformation & socialization does come in the stories and narratives that are told to us and about us (also see Joseph Campbell) and the labels we live with have their own story. Working in Drug and Alcohol doing contingency counselling they are the self-schemas that I confront on a daily bases. Working with 2nd and 3rd and sometimes 4th generation addicts I see firsthand the Eton these people had to endure. The cost / benefit analysis is about immediate physical pain or getting the next shot. The justification used to overcome any cognitive dissidence with respect to morality or law is the social group they live with it is "normal behaviour in their social group. You may think the “birds of a feather fly together" but as Cunningham (p.30) points out the fundamental attribution error awareness is paramount when working in such an industry of human service, Many people with addiction are self medicating for other reasons and some have been given an addiction from horrific incidences for which they needed surgery. Though with other addicts come pushers, Cunningham addresses this as well, "the torturer has come to think of his work as the natural thing to do" and I would ad would take pride it their work. I would ask you to read about Milgram's experiment study of Obedience < http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment > and think about the ethics of the experimenter and the participants, you will be amazed.

Thought leads to behaviour, behaviour leads to repeated behaviour, repeated behaviour leads to habit, and habit becomes Character, so too emulated behaviour has the same outcome. The use of reward and punishment to guide behaviour (Cunningham, 2008, p. 29) would have been used at Eton in training the soldiers for the desired outcome. May I argue that we also use more subtle methods of obedience through reward and punishment on people around us, by the way we talk, facial expressions, and acceptance of others or ostracising them. These subtle methods are now used in horse training or horse whispering. With practice and imagination that improves practice for what may be unexpected shows the love in the endeavour. Goleman (Emotional intelligence, 1996) talks about how love and practise of ones profession can place a person in the "zone", a Surgeon was operating, during which an Earth Quake shook the building and part of the Theatre fell to the floor. The Surgeon's love of perfection was so present in the operation that he did not know that there was an Earth quake and did not notice that part of the ceiling had fallen.

The power of words creating their Ripple Affect.

The power of words creating their Ripple Affect.

The ripple affect that followed through to my family in my search for answers about diabetes was enormous. I became wrapped in fear and anxiety, to the point of depression.

After being told I had diabetes it was time to find out what diabetes is, and how will it affect the quality of my life. If you or some one you know has diabetes, you would have probably gone through a similar research expedition as I, trying to establish what exactly is diabetes and how are you going to survive with this. In the beginning I thought it could not be so bad, as when I phoned the doctor telling him I just got diabetes and was advised that I must see him, he said that late the following week would be fine. Also trying to make an appointment with the diabetes clinic I had the same results, a date was made nearly two weeks into the future. Neither the doctor nor the clinic was in a hurry to see me, a newly diagnosed diabetic! No one in the medical profession was in a hurry to see me; in that case maybe, I would probably not even need any type of medication. This gave me a reasonably safe feeling of security that this diabetes was not too much to worry about.

The appointment to see the professionals was some time away, I decided to go to our local library and borrow some books on the subject so that when I do see them I may be a bit better informed. Most books stated that diabetes is a chronic disease; I looked up the meaning for disease, what really is a disease and what did I do to catch this disease. The Encyclopedia Britannica states that a disease is a condition of the living animal or plant body or of one of its parts that impairs normal functioning. This totally blew me away, how was I going to be impaired from being able to function normally. Was it going to impair my brain, I had not long ago been accepted as a mature-aged student at university, and enjoyed doing my course with reasonably good results, so the quest for answers continued, as the words impairs normal functioning stayed planted in my long-term memory bank.

I read that what we eat impacts on the safety levels of blood readings, also that regular exercise would be necessary to enhance the quality of life and help adjust further blood readings, and that it would be necessary not only to rethink, but alter the life style that most likely assisted the onset of diabetes. This advice did not seem to drastic, I could do that, eat to a new set of menus and do regular exercise.

The next step I did, which on looking back was totally wrong for my cognitive and emotional stability, this step was to go public with my news of having diabetes. I decided to tell my friends and associates, hoping to get some advice and support. The reactions and comments did not vary that much, you poor thing! How do you feel? You will have to make so many adjustments to your life now! How are you coping? The worst comments that I received were in relation to the possible loss of my legs, eyesight and kidney damage without conclusive reasons given to these statements. We do not realize what power words have and the ripple affect they create, being at the receiving end has made me more seriously conscious that care must be taken on how one responds to a person that has just been dealt a blow. Telling someone you poor thing without any follow up may be said out of sympathy, empathy and possibly even to show concern But does it make the recipient cope better emotionally? No, this made me question why am I a poor thing, what do they know that I do not, and made matters only worse for me. After all I only have diabetes and not contracted a plague, I was looking for support not sympathy. I did not look for hero status by saying, hey, here I have been given something (diabetes) that you have not but I must deal with it, so feel sorry for me. No, I needed support and not sympathy, and say it mildly I actually got rather angry to the point that I could not tell whether I was angry, frustrated or just depressed.

Expert Power:

Being an expert does not necessarily mean that one needs years of study under your belt to be able to talk with authority. Unless that is you need those years of study for your chosen profession. Experience also brings expertise. I am talking about "expertis" not time spent in a job, thou this too can be mistaken as expertise. A person can spend years in a job and learn nothing about how to be the best at their job, they are just an automaton treating the previous day the same as the last.

An expert is one that strives to improve their knowledge and work practice in their chosen profession. Of course a Doctor, Nurse, Engineer, Psychiatrist and other professions demand a base level of formal training. But even this base level of training does not make one an expert. Though they can be treated as an expert because their training has given them the position of one, thus people treat them according to their training. (Did you see what is in that sentence)

The key to being an expert is to have others that title you as an expert. Thus experts are made by others and not made by them self.

When others in your profession sees you as an expert and treats you as one, this places the responsibility on you to act as an expert and little scope for diversifying into other fields becomes difficult. Because the expert is highly respected for a specific field and that respect is not transferable to another field. Thus the expert will be dragged back into the expert role of that specific field.

The down fall of being an expert:

• When it goes to one's head and taking one's self too seriously.
• Not accepting alternative advice or explanations from others, because you are the expert.
• May create fear in other, thus making the expert seem unapproachable.
• Hinders job change, and diversification.
• Being prone to strong heuristics in judgment calls.
• Being seen as the only person that can perform a specific function.
• Suffer tall poppy syndrome. Others may be sharpening their knives.

Although there are some pitfalls that one needs to watch out for, and if those pitfalls are not an issue. There is great responsibility and prestige that comes with that title of expert.

Expert Power is deemed a personal power because the power is not borrowed from outside the self. Power that is derived from an external source is not Personal Power and once the source is removed, or the person removed from the source, power vacates.

Diabetes it is not a death sentence to enjoying life!

Reasons for telling you about my battle.

The written word is powerful and I truly hope that there is enough power in these written words of mine, to you the reader, to be able to encourage calm in you – while striving through a similar time of trauma. I am not writing my story of coming to terms with diabetes, as a way of self-help therapy for me. I am hoping that by exposing, and telling you of my traumatic experience as it happened, or better said how I interpreted my trauma to me. Lived and grappled with this occasion, so that maybe you can find similarities in your experience and be able to let go of fear, anxiety, and the feeling of hopelessness. I hope by reading this I will save you the years of searching that I went through, to find that you can still fully enjoy life. Sure our environment, nurturing and circumstances may have carved our inner building blocks of coping in some ways differently to others, we can probably say that we are all different. Are we really that different, in the quest to find the need to accept living with diabetes, I doubt it.

I invite you to come on a journey with me and experience a psychological mental atmosphere, which was at times mind blowing, earth shattering, life changing and also included of a lot of attitude fine-tuning. I am not speaking of my honeymoon or even a naughty weekend (with someone else’s partner). This ongoing journey partner is more permanent than marriage, from that you can get a divorce, although when finally found out can be just as dangerous as that naughty weekend. Wouldn’t you agree that finding out that you or someone you care for has been diagnosed with diabetes, would probably have a greater impact on you than man walking on the moon? I was flat out walking anywhere the day I found out that I am a diabetic, but over the past seven years have found that it is not a death sentence to enjoying life.

Ignorance is it bliss?

I am on the wrong side of fifty and for the past seven years have lived with being diagnosed with diabetes. When I was younger (so much younger than today) I had heard about diabetes but as no one in our family has ever had diabetes, I found it of no interest to find out exactly what this problem was really about, all I knew is that a diabetic suffers from having too much sugar in their system and this caused a variety of problems. What, how and why these problems came about and the following consequences, I felt I did not need to know. I suppose you would know someone in this same position and with a similar attitude that I had before I was diagnosed with having diabetes.

Being found out diagnosed with diabetes.

Thinking back to the day I found out that I had become diagnosed as a diabetic, was when I had been admitted to hospital for excruciating, severe and horrible stomach pains, they seemed worse than giving birth to both my sons, (who have a gap of two years) at once. I was put on painkillers and underwent all sorts of tests, which included blood tests. After two nights and two days in hospital the result was that fortunately there were no internal problems. The pain had subsided, I would need no medications and I was told I could get ready to go home, but another doctor would like to talk to me before I go. I sat on the bed pain free waiting for this doctor, happy to be OK and looking forward to phoning my sons to pick me up to go home.

I had never seen nor did I know this doctor, I can remember he was wearing black trousers a white shirt with tie and a black jacket, suited more to a real-estate salesman or undertaker than doctor. He pulled the curtain shut around my bed, I thought what now? He did not examine me nor had he any intention to examine me, he was accompanied by another nurse from outside the hospital, who he introduced telling me from where she was. All this introduction I really took no notice of, as I knew it would not be long and I will be out of there. This small, thin, unassuming, expressionless individual with a chord held tag around his neck that I imagine read, Doctor, stood at a distance from me and said "I suppose you realize that you have diabetes!" Shock, horror no I did not know I have diabetes, I don't even really know what "diabetes" really is, I had only come to hospital because of a bellyache. My pains, he said had nothing to do with diabetes and that part is over and I am clear to go home, but, this nurse was from the Diabetic Clinic in this city and I should see her for follow up, also my doctor would be informed and he would give me follow up treatment, handing me a card for the Clinic he and she left. After they left I sat on the bed unable to move, in shock, disbelief, and totally knowing what a stunned mullet felt like. I knew I was still alive because I went to find a phone to call my sons to pick me up telling them "I have diabetes".