As a therapist I encounter people that use anger and temper tantrums as a form of getting what they want. This all comes down to inconsistent parenting, giving children mixed messages. All too often we ignore good behaviour and reward bad behaviour with attention. Attention is sort by the children even if when it means that it is a form of punishment. The child is after attention and attention is what they get when the parent is chastising the child. Thus when the parent is busy and the child is helping with the shopping or what ever, the parent often does not give the child the positive attention that encourages good behaviour. When ever you talk to a child psychologist you will hear them talk about consistency is they type of attention you give a child and when. It is more about how the parent interacts with a child than the child's behaviour. It is when these children grow up they get diagnosed with personality disorders, adjustment disorders, and anxiety disorder. Then I deal with a lot of them with Drug or Alcohol issues, along with the training they got with inconsistent parenting. To really understand what I am talking about, you go on a date and everything is going top guns, but suddenly you are told that you are not wanted. Furthermore, your boss persistently calls you into the office to chastise you about any or all minor thing, then when you whish to quit because of the minor issues, the boss tells you, that you are the best work that the organisation has. How would that make you feel? Now imagine what the child is feeling when the same mixed messages are given out by the parents. One day the parent plays ball in the house with the child and the next day the child gets chastised for doing the same thing.
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