Breaking the chains that bind us: Identity transformation and Passion

No matter what socioeconomic strata of society we are from, it seems that we are trapped by our past and the attitudes past down the from generation to generation. The belief systems that we have can often be the result of an idea several generations in the past. This is the cop in the head that we live with and controls us. Breaking the bonds of the cop in the head and all those habits that we have developed over time through our experiences and those values that were handed down from generation to generation is hard and for some next to impossible to break. It usually takes a disaster in ones life to really change one's preconceived attitudes and judgments.  The other way is to follow you bliss, your passion and stick to it, no matter what.   To read the entire Posting please pay $5.50 Via PayPay. Add to cart and then you will see the Shopping cart on the top of the Left hand Menu. Then I will email the password to you for the entire posting. [wp_cart:Breaking the chains that bind us:price:5.50:end]    

Bibliography

• Boyatzis, R. E. (2005). Developing leadership through emotional intelligence. In A.-S. G. Antonion, & C. L. Cooper (Eds.), Research companion to organizational health psychology (pp. 656-669). Massachusetts: Edward Elgar Publishing Limited.
• Elvin, M. (2004). Financial Risk Taking: An Introduction to the Psychology of Trading and Behavioural Finance. West Sussex: John Wiley & Sons Ltd.
• Firman, J., & Gila, A. (2002). Psychosynthesis: a psycology of the spirit. New York: State University of New York Press
• Goleman, D. (1996). Emotional intelligence. London: Bloomsbury Publishing.
• Harrell, S. P., & Sloan-Pena, G. (2006). Racism and Discrimination. In Y. Jackso (Ed.), Encyclopedia of Multicultural Psychology (pp. 396-402). California: Sage Publucations, Inc.
• Pines, A. M. (2005). Love and work: the relationships between their unconscious choices and burnout. In A.-S. G. Antonion, & C. L. Cooper (Eds.), Research companion to organizational health psychology (pp. 565-578). Massachusetts: Edward Elgar Publishing Limited.
• Sommers-Flanagan, J., & Sommers-Flanagan, R. (2004). Key Figures and Historical Context. In J. Sommers-Flanagan, & R. Sommers-Flanagan, Counselling and Psychotherapy theories in context and practice (p. 139). New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
• Sommers-Flanagan, J., & Sommers-Flanagan, R. (2004). Key Figures and Historical Context. New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

   

Breaking the chains that bind us: Identity transformation and Passion

Through out this blog I have talked about the decisions we make and the choices we have, along with the schemas that we are bound to. The illusive cop in the head that controls our actions and guides our decisions that we are bound to, it seems that we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over. All too often I hear the phrase "monkey see monkey do" and that other statement that is a judgment on the offspring "the apple does not fall far from the tree". Like wise I hear clients ask me "why do I constantly pick the same types of partners, do I have the word, victim, tattooed to my forehead?".   No matter what socioeconomic strata of society we are from, it seems that we are trapped by our past and the attitudes past down the from generation to generation. The belief systems that we have can often be the result of an idea several generations in the past. This is the cop in the head that we live with and controls us. Breaking the bonds of the cop in the head and all those habits that we have developed over time through our experiences and those values that were handed down from generation to generation is hard and for some next to impossible to break. It usually takes a disaster in ones life to really change one's preconceived attitudes and judgments.  The other way is to follow you bliss, your passion and stick to it, no matter what.   All too often we think that the bliss we need to find is the product of the ideas of the past. The bliss that we think we need is derived from external sources. However your bliss is your passion, it is your passion that drives you doing the thing you love the most, without the influence of others or any substance you are using. Your Passion is an activity that you cannot live happily without. For some their passion is the work they do, thus work is a joy and the activity that they live for. For others the passion that drives them is a hobby that they work for. The passion is one's life is that which fills the heart with bliss and gives you a reason for getting out of bed and achieve even in the face of adversity. For some, the by product of their activity is their passion, an example is Arnold Schwarzenegger, first he was passionate about body building, then acting, and then politics, but his true passion was to be in the centre of attention and be praised for his achievements. Though even if it is your passion to have praise from others, you still need to give others your talent and skill that can be praised.   When you make a decision to do something that potentially can change your life do it with all your heart, with passion, and with pride.  If you do not do it with passion, your decision will be only half hearted and without true meaning for you. So make that decision and do the thing that brings bliss to your life, whether it is a process to the end goal or the activity itself, and do it in the face of adversity. When you have the passion your desire to take action on your decision, your passion should over run you and take action even when all other tell you that you cannot do it, you just need do it. It is with the passion and the decision to take action, you will find a way to do it despite the cost to you and your loved ones, because if your loved ones do not allow you to follow your passion, they are not showing you their love and acceptance for you and your dreams.   Many do not follow their passion because of fear, fear of loosing what they already have, or fear of the judgment of others. Freidrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) believed that the power of the individual should direct that passion into creative, joyful activities instead of being directed by fear of religion (Sommers-Flanagan & Sommers-Flanagan, Key Figures and Historical Context, 2004, p. 139). It can be that when one's passion is followed that guilt, shame and the treat of being ostracized by friends or family become a real feeling (Firman & Gila, 2002, p. 50 & 98). This is most evident in the client base that I work with. People that wish to recover from addiction do feel that the loss of friends is drastic and in some cases when the family is also addicted to illicit substances, the client see the need to abandon the family to have a life of sobriety. Unpublished research that a colleague has done shows that emotional distress increases when clients are in a rehabilitation centre over two weeks, the instrument used was the K10. Likewise I have measured the amount of fear that clients have when leaving a detox centre, which is significantly more for females than males (t(53)=2.730, p=0.009). Thus the fear to follow through with ones passion changes not only your self but the perceptions of others around you, the perceptions of others and the perceptions others have of you.   Although all the perceptions may change and influence each other in surprising ways, the adversity that we may face in following our passion does more for us than we realise. "However, adversity provides opportunities to build strengths. Characteristics such as endurance, perseverance, passion, expressiveness, optimism, gratefulness, creativity, compassion, collectivism, spirituality, and faith can emerge." (Harrell & Sloan-Pena, 2006).   It is here in the new mindset that new friends are made and a purpose for action is found. Living life with a clear defined purpose makes life fulfilling and meaningful without, and it is here in this purpose of action through passion that a person will act in "the Zone". Goleman (1996) and Elvin (2004, p. 189) describes being in "the Zone" as a deep emotional connection in action with passion in a task that consumes such concentration that the rest of the world becomes irrelevant, all that matters is you and your passion. Thus the stronger the passion the less you will be deterred by adversities that surround you and the faster you will change your approach to situations around you.   I recall a conversation with a person with an addiction and supported their addiction by becoming a dealer of illicit drugs. That person stated that a colleague of theirs stated "you will never get clean from dugs, because you have not got the passion". This statement is so true for what ever walk of life one comes from. If a person wishes to become a pilot, dancer, poet, graduate, wonderful parent etc. the pursuit of an achievement is futile without the passion of being the end product of that achievement. Furthermore the process of becoming is an ongoing process that builds the skills that becomes part of your identity. So to it is in work and love that life without passion is like death and causes burnout (Pines, 2005).  You can tell if you have low or no passion and suffer burnout from work or love when you feel tired, hopeless, trapped, helpless, depressed, weak, disappointed, and have difficulties sleeping (Pines, 2005). The affect experienced by following your passion, within your self is heightened self-esteem and a vision of reaching your ideal self image (Boyatzis, 2005).   Your ideal self image is how you would like to see yourself, encompassing what you do and how you behave and who you hang out with, and love in your daily life. Apposed with to your real self image, where you settle for who you are, what you do, and your current behavior with those you hang out with and love. The greater the disparity or distance between the two types of self images the greater the depression you may suffer, because you are not living your dream, and currently living without passion. Furthermore, to close the gap between your real and ideal self image is to follow your bliss, follow your passion.   "we can gain access to and engage deep emotional commitment and psychic energy if we engage our passions and conceptually catch our dreams in our ideal self-image. It is an anomaly that we know the importance of consideration of the ideal self and yet, often, when engaged in a change or learning process, we skip over the clear formulation or articulation of our ideal self image. If a parent, spouse, boss or teacher indicates something that should be different, they are telling us about the person they want us to be. As adults, we often allow" (Boyatzis, 2005)   "There are four major 'learning points' from the first two discontinuities in the self-directed learning process: (1) engage your passion and create your dreams; (2) Know thyself; (3) identify or articulate both your strengths (those aspects of yourself you want to preserve) and the gaps or discrepancies in your real and ideal selves (those aspects of yourself you want to adapt or change); and (4) keep your attention on both characteristics, forces or factors – do not let one become the preoccupation." (Boyatzis, 2005).   The Bliss or passion that we are to follow to get the most out of life is fervently described by J Campbell's the Hero's journey. It is the passion that the hero act upon to alter their approach and attitude towards the turbulence of life we all face. Furthermore, it is the pursuit of bliss that the Hero is passionate for, all through the journey. With this passion the skills are acquired to complete and come through the mortal threat that awaits the hero once they return to the ordinary world from the special world. Then it is here in the ordinary world the hero is aware that they are the hero and prepared to assist others on their journey of passion to find their bliss.   To find out what your real and ideal self image is, there are several pen and paper exercises you can do to find your way to get from one to the other. If you wish to know more about these exercises just email me or Skype me.      

Bibliography

• Boyatzis, R. E. (2005). Developing leadership through emotional intelligence. In A.-S. G. Antonion, & C. L. Cooper (Eds.), Research companion to organizational health psychology (pp. 656-669). Massachusetts: Edward Elgar Publishing Limited.
• Elvin, M. (2004). Financial Risk Taking: An Introduction to the Psychology of Trading and Behavioural Finance. West Sussex: John Wiley & Sons Ltd.
• Firman, J., & Gila, A. (2002). Psychosynthesis: a psycology of the spirit. New York: State University of New York Press.
• Goleman, D. (1996). Emotional intelligence. London: Bloomsbury Publishing.
• Harrell, S. P., & Sloan-Pena, G. (2006). Racism and Discrimination. In Y. Jackso (Ed.), Encyclopedia of Multicultural Psychology (pp. 396-402). California: Sage Publucations, Inc.
• Pines, A. M. (2005). Love and work: the relationships between their unconscious choices and burnout. In A.-S. G. Antonion, & C. L. Cooper (Eds.), Research companion to organizational health psychology (pp. 565-578). Massachusetts: Edward Elgar Publishing Limited.
• Sommers-Flanagan, J., & Sommers-Flanagan, R. (2004). Key Figures and Historical Context. In J. Sommers-Flanagan, & R. Sommers-Flanagan, Counselling and Psychotherapy theories in context and practice (p. 139). New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
• Sommers-Flanagan, J., & Sommers-Flanagan, R. (2004). Key Figures and Historical Context. New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

       

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Misunderstanding

Misunderstanding is at the core of conflict. Perseption is reality, and misunderstanding is wrong perseption made real causing hatred and mistrust.

Thought of the day

Getting out of bed may be the bigest decision of the day, but even making no decision is a big decision that afftects you and many others.

Thought of the day

When things get tough, look in the mirror and tell your self that control is a decision away.

Getting in to Rehab: How and Why

I have had a few people send me emails, messages, and phone calls about how to get into a Rehab. Likewise partners or relatives have asked me about the same issue of how to get their loved ones into a Rehab. The best way to answer this question is via a procedural point form.

• The person that has the issue needs to ring the Rehab. This is because the person with the issue needs to own their choices. Secondly the Rehab will want to do an assessment on the person with the issues. I suggest ringing a Rehab first, before a Detox centre because your waiting list at the rehab may be months. Once you had a date to book in to a Rehab get into a detox centre at least 28 or 30 days before the date for the rehab. This is because if you have a Diazepam addiction you need 28 days to detox, for other drugs and alcohol the time may be shorter. If there is a long wait between detox and rehab the risk of getting back on the drugs of drinking increases, this is a vulnerable time if you as the addict is going back to the same environment and friendship group.
• Ring a Detox once you have the Rehab date booked. Many if not all rehabs will not take clients if they have not gone through detox. The same as before the person suffering will need to do the phone assessment with the detox. At detox there is a great likelihood that you will not be allowed to smoke, make phone calls, and leave the unit.
• Now you have a date for Detox and Rehab, what do you take with you and what to leave at home?
  • Only take your mobile phone if you are going home with public transport. The mobile phone will be taken from you on arrival.
  • Do not take any sharps apart from your razor. All seizors, tweezers, knifes, needles, and keys will be taken from you on arrival.
  • Do not take any computers, portable DVD players, DVDs, or radios with open speakers. These items are seen as sleep inhibitors and can cause issues with other clients, also they will be taken from you on arrival.
  • Take your MP3 player if you like your music. Pick your music to help you be calm and relaxed.
  • You do not need to take sheets or blankets unless directed to by the assessment officer.
  • Take open and closed shoes for indoors and out doors. Also take a pair of thongs (flipflops) to wear in the shower.
  • Finally clothing that will last you at least a month, you will be able to wash your clothing at the Detox and Rehab.

  As for the people that are left behind while the loved one is in the Detox centre or rehab. First of all don't worry, you do not need to ring them every day and worry about them. I bring this up because all to often loved ones think they are giving support to the person in the centre but give them reasons for leaving the unit. To constantly tell them how they are being missed and all the things they are missing out on, drives the client to leave the unit and sabotage their recovery.   So how about we make a list of what to do and what not to do when a loved one is at Detox or Rehab.

• Find a counsellor or an AOD worker to talk to so you have more knowledge about what an addict is going through. This will teach you about triggers and ways to change your life style. I say this because the past life style may have promoted the addiction. More often than not you will be left out of the loop so a counsellor or AOD worker will help you to be in the loop.
• Ring the centre to satisfy your self that the person has gotten there ok, but then only ring when your loved one wants you to ring. That is, if they are allowed phone calls. Also be prepared that staff will tell you nothing, this is because of confidentiality and because the staff does not really know if you are the one you say you are.
• Treat the centre like a training course away from home, because that is what it is. So know that the only thing the client needs from home is support and talk mainly about what the client is going through.
• Right letters and send photos. This will help motivate the client to succeed in recovery.

 

But what can be expected in Detox and then Rehab?

Detox

Detox is all about the body, so do not expect deep and meaningful counselling. Detox is a place to go to get over addiction while making the detox symptoms less painful and to get the substance out of the body. All types of people go to detox so do not buy into any of the stories or games that the other clients play. Some clients will be trouble and others may be intimidating, so the trick is to concentrate on your self and your plans. Furthermore, be prepared to suffer the consequences of years of abuse from your addiction, depending on the drug you take the body will let you know that it is suffering. This includes lack of sleep, bad dreams, joint pain, head aches, bad moods, and agitation. If you have been taking drugs as a form of self medication for mental illness, the mental illness will come out again, this is a good thing in a way. With the drugs out of the system a proper diagnosis can be made and real help can be found, also you may find that the opposite is true, it could be that the drugs were giving you mental instability.  

Rehab

At Rehab you do all the mental hard work, you will be attending Group Therapy sessions 4 or more times a day. You will be helping doing chores, such as cooking, sweep and moping, washing, and cleaning. Depending on the focus of the Rehab, may do AA or NA groups several times a week along with doing the AA book and work through the 12 steps. If it is a CBT Rehab there will also be book work and self monitoring that you will be doing. Each Rehab has rules that you must follow and if these rules are broken you will be kicked out, so learn these rules, which will be given to you on arrival. Rehab is all about helping you the client to find new and affective coping strategies, find your weaknesses so you can accept them and live with them not fight against them. Many people go to weight loss fitness camps so they can pump iron, you will be going to Rehab to pump neurons. It is not al work, you will be going on outings and doing some fun stuff, all of which promotes socialisation.   There are lots more to talk about, but for that you will need to book an appointment with me.

Self-disclosure in a counselling session: what do you think?

You may have been told at work that self-disclosure is a great "no no", you do not do it, I certainly have. Like wise as a client you may have wondered why the staff (or certain staff) in an organisation do not self-disclosure to you or other clients. This may be the same when you see a psychologist or counsellor. Well, when we are getting trained we are taught not to self-disclosure, because it may bring about transference or the information within the self-disclosure can be used against the therapist. Personally I was taught to be couscous, and only tell others what you can put in the news paper, because you have no idea where that information goes with that client. As a therapist we are bound by Law and Ethics that the information that a client tells us remains confidential and can only be told to others with the clients signed consent, this is not the case with clients. But at the core of this issue is, is it beneficial to the therapeutic process for the therapist to self-disclosure?   Personally, my opinion is yes, it is beneficial in some cases, the trick is to know which clients will benefit with knowing the therapists personal experience of what ever the issue is. I have had some clients tell me more of their plight because they know that I know what they are going through , because I may have had a close friend suffer from the same thing and it touched me deeply. This builds a working relationship a lot faster than if I would not have self-disclosure. Like wise respect is built in a shorter time and the client is more likely to follow advice or do the work in the CBT in their day to day living.   But this is all great if I am telling you about what I have experienced in my vocation, and it is up for debate. Barrett and Berman (2001) discuses this issue and have performed an experiment with a group of therapists, with each therapist self-disclosure to 50% of their clients and not at all with the other 50%. The findings match some of my experiences.   It is argued that self-disclosure takes the focus away from the client and interferes with the process of therapy, because the therapist is supposed to act as a mirror or "blank screen" for the client's emotionality (Barrett & Berman, 2001). Self-disclosure is thought to enhance the ethos of honesty, understanding, and empathy to build the working relationship (Barrett & Berman, 2001). Barrett and Berman (2001) investigated what are the outcomes of self-disclosure from the therapist. The interesting thing was that the symptoms of distress in the client were significantly reduced, and the therapist was liked significantly more with the therapist self-disclosing (Barrett & Berman, 2001). However the research did not show a significant increase in client's self-disclosure when the therapist self-disclosed, thus the level of therapist self-disclosure has no impact on the amount information the client opens up to the therapist (Barrett & Berman, 2001).   So in a nutshell do what you want as a therapist if you feel comfortable with what you are doing. I am an advocator to light levels of self-disclosure with in mind that you should only self-disclosure what you can put in the News Paper, Facebook, or and social media so the world can know about it. It is because as soon as that information is given out you no longer have control over when that information ends up. This is not the issue that the client needs to think about, because they are protected with the working ethics that therapists must work by.        

Bibliography

Barrett, M. S., & Berman, J. S. (2001). Is psychotherapy more effective when therapists disclose information about themselves? Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology , 69 (4), 597-603.  

Evidence based practice 'V' Best practice evidence

I sometimes wonder what best practice is. Is best practice the over riding need to follow evidence based practice, which is practice based on what has been researched and published. Or is it best to practice what feels right, what makes sense to you the therapist. I know that Art Therapy is used for people that are striving to explore their emotionality, therapeutic community, or in relationship therapy. Also I know that the 12 step AA and NA program is all around the world and many people swear by it, but this program did not start with evidence based implementations. I also know that some therapists are using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs as a therapeutic tool and form of measuring client's advancement in a program, even when there are reported flaws in the theory of Maslow's Hierarchy. Now the confusion that I have is that Psychology and therapies are based on Art, not Science. Psychology at University is part of the Faculty of Arts. The problem all started with how psychology started and in the era that it started, Psychology was in competition with pharmacology (Chemistry), and the other sciences like metallurgy, physics and alike. So the issue is, Human behaviour is an art because human behaviour does not act like any other contemporary science. Human behaviour follows a bell curve which is a curve of probability. Where as other sciences, apart from quantum physics, does not work with a probability bell curve, they know the outcomes when mixing chemicals with 100% certainty. Whereas a therapeutic treatment does not have certainty when treating a group of people with a therapeutic technique that it will work 100% of the time. With psychological testing tools, they usually are self reporting questionnaires, observations with a reliability test. All of which are governed by statistics that measure people on a probability bell curve comparing them with a larger group of individuals. Thus in order to have a treatment passed as being best practice with evidence that it works a hole host of things need to be done that follows the psychological science procedure. Firstly a target group is used for the therapy  is needed, so if we use addiction as a target group, the experiment must discriminate between all the types of addictions that people have. Thus people that inject cocaine will be discriminated from those that snort cocaine. Now we need to measure the level of success which will make a probability bell curve, thus some will benefit from the treatment and others will not. The next stem is to measure the level of success with other therapeutic treatments, and the two probability bell curve from the treatments are compared with each other to compare the value of the treatment against other established treatments. So you can imagine for a service that uses only evidence based practice, that their practice would be 10 to 20 years or more behind the latest treatments and even if new treatments are very successful, it would need to be researched, reviewed, and then published, then adopted by therapists'. Also many self reporting questionaries and tests are designed people of a particular socioeconomically and cultural group with others discriminated against, although experimenters in human behaviour now try to safe guard against this unintentional discrimination. I know of a psychologist in Australia that has researched the correlation between the spiritual connection with their deceased relatives and the land with the level of their grief and loss. This psychologist is not recognised within Australia and the work he has done, but is recognised overseas.  Although evidence based practice is the bases of our hospital system and research in keeping people in physical health and should be because it is designed as such. But when it comes to human behaviour which is not as cut and dry as health, human behaviour is subject to many more variables than health. There are a few people that look at this subject with out much care because they are not impacted as much as some. Thus when it comes to health always look for evidence based practice, but when it come to therapy, go with what feels right with a person that you trust. We through around key phrases such as, CBT, DBT, NLP, Psycho-theatrics, Psychodrama, AA 12 step, Rogerairen Counselling, and Hypnosis. If evidence based practice would be the cornerstone of treating people in the science of psychology, we should only have one type of therapy that works with every one. I am not picking on Psychology or therapists, I recognise their good work, What I am criticising here is the use of "evidence based practice" with in the art of psychology. Psychologists should be open to new treatments and keep their own records and listen to client feedback  to see if the treatment is beneficial. And as always, ant treatment is better than none unlike Health Treatment. If the wrong treatment is given for the Health the patient will die, this is not so in psychology. OR Is best practice evidence informed practice. There are treatments out there that are sold as psychology and treatment for problems, but can cause more harm than good. One or two of these treatments have come to the light in the media and do cause a great deal of psychological damage to consumers, such as "emotional-expressive therapy" for crisis debriefing or "Scared Straight" programs for delinquency (Stuart & Lilienfeld, 2007). To find the evidence that fits your therapeutic style can be impossible to find, so we try to find a best fit so practice can "be informed by evidence but not necessarily driven by it (Stuart & Lilienfeld, 2007). One source of evidence that a treatment is working is with client feedback, and evaluate cases on an ongoing basis (Stuart & Lilienfeld, 2007). Furthermore try to find all the research you can on a therapy that has been used in the past by others. Granted this is difficult to do when the therapy is new or you have linked information from other disciplines to make a hybrid type of therapy. At the core of all medical and therapeutic professions is the understanding of "first , do no harm" (Primum non nocere). Also with the American Psychological Association (APA) is the ethical dictate that we must "take reasonable steps to avoid harming their clients/patients (APA, 2002, p.1065). Thus it is clear that the therapist needs to undertake research to satisfy them-selves that a therapeutic method is safe for the client. With all the differences in the styles of therapists and there clients some therapeutic method may hinder or slow the recovery of clients (Lilienfeld, 2007). To think that any treatment is better than no treatment is a naïve understanding (Lilienfeld, 2007) of the treatment process and the cognition of clients. It is suggested that between 3 to 10% of clients do get worse after treatment, and for people suffering addiction to substance the result is higher from 10 to 15% getting worse after treatment (Lilienfeld, 2007). Though we must not forget that in some cases that these figures may have a level of error in them, with some clients getting worse with or without treatment (Lilienfeld, 2007). Furthermore, there are a number of clients that have been through the mental health system numerous times with social workers intervening in employment agencies and social welfare agencies. It is in these cases that people may have had many counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers all telling the client different things using different methods to get different outcomes. Where does that leave the client? Confused, and bewildered with no real direction. Lilienfeld (2007) suggests the following criteria in order not to use a treatment method:

1. They have demonstrated harmful psychological or physical effects in clients or others (eg, relatives).
2. The harmful effect are enduring and do not merely reflect a short-term exacerbation of symptoms during treatment.
3. The harmful effects have been replicated by independent investigative teams.

Thus as a result not all treatments are treatments, just as not all oils are oils. The client must be monitored and give their feedback with every session, and the therapist be flexible enough to change their approach. Bibliography

• Lilienfeld, S. O. (2007). Psychological treatments that cause harm. Association for psychological science , 2 (1), 53-70.
• Stuart, R. B., & Lilienfeld, S. O. (2007). The evidence missing from evidence-based practice. American Psychologist , 615-616.

Sarahs Last Wish

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="304" caption="http://www.sarahs-last-wish.com/"][/caption] I heard the interview of the Author on the Radio and felt that it is worth while putting a link to her page on my blog. I have read a book about Doctors and Heuristics and feel that this book sounds like the same sort of mistakes that Doctors make.   http://www.sarahs-last-wish.com/ Mark Westley and his wife, Dianne raised their six children on a charming country property. The Westleys were a typical, close-knit Australian family who enjoyed happy, healthy lives – until the day eleven-year-old Sarah was struck down by a severe mystery illness. Sarah's parents rushed her to several small country hospitals in search of help. Yet before adequate tests had been performed, doctors announced that Sarah was pregnant – an outrageous misdiagnosis that triggered a devastating chain of events for the family. It was only when Sarah was finally transferred to a large teaching hospital that doctors discovered the true diagnosis: a rare condition they had never seen before…and wanted to study.

MAP of Rehabs in South Australia

The information I have on this website about Rehabs in Australia is not complete, so I hope you can assist me by emailing me about other Rehabs you know of.   This Map will be constantly updated as information is gathered.

MAP of Rehabs in Western Australia

The information I have on this website about Rehabs in Australia is not complete, so I hope you can assist me by emailing me about other Rehabs you know of.   This Map will be constantly updated as information is gathered.

MAP of Rehabs in Queensland

The information I have on this website about Rehabs in Australia is not complete, so I hope you can assist me by emailing me about other Rehabs you know of.   This Map will be constantly updated as information is gathered.

MAP of Rehabs in Northern Teratory

The information I have on this website about Rehabs in Australia is not complete, so I hope you can assist me by emailing me about other Rehabs you know of.   This Map will be constantly updated as information is gathered.

MAP of Rehabs in Victoria

The information I have on this website about Rehabs in Australia is not complete, so I hope you can assist me by emailing me about other Rehabs you know of.   This Map will be constantly updated as information is gathered.

Prozac

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Venndale Rehabilitation

Org Name: Venndale Rehabilitation

• Address:  Bruce Road via Venn
• City: Katherine
• State: NT
• Post Code: 0851
• Phone #1: (08) 8971 7199
• Fax: (08) 8971 7435
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

  Leave a comment if you have more information on services that have incomplete information

Stagpole Street Hostel

Org Name: Stagpole Street Hostel

• Address:  7–9 Stagpole Street West End
• City: Townsville
• State: Qld
• Post Code: 4810
• Phone #1: (07) 4771 5655
• Fax: (07) 4771 5624
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

  Leave a comment if you have more information on services that have incomplete information

Percy Green Memorial Hostel

Org Name: Percy Green Memorial Hostel

• Address:  Mooroopna–Murchison Road, , ,
• City: Toolamba
• State: VIC
• Post Code: 3614
• Phone #1: (03) 5826 5217
• Fax: (03) 5826 5217
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

  Leave a comment if you have more information on services that have incomplete information

Milliya Rumurra

Org Name: Milliya Rumurra

• Address:  78 Great Northern Highway
• City: Broome
• State: WA
• Post Code: 6725
• Phone #1: (08) 9192 1699
• Fax: (08) 9193 5996
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

  Leave a comment if you have more information on services that have incomplete information

Kalkadoon Aboriginal Sobriety House

Org Name: Kalkadoon Aboriginal Sobriety House

• Address:  Barkly Highway Spear Creek
• City: Mount Isa
• State: Qld
• Post Code: 4825
• Phone #1: (07) 4743 2370
• Fax: (07) 4743 7485
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

  Leave a comment if you have more information on services that have incomplete information

Jessie Budby Healing Centre

Org Name: Jessie Budby Healing Centre

• Address:  27 Llewellyn Street New Farm
• City: Brisbane
• State: Qld
• Post Code: 4005
• Phone #1: (07) 3358 5855
• Fax: (07) 3254 0076
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

  Leave a comment if you have more information on services that have incomplete information

Gindaja Rehabilitation Centre

Org Name: Gindaja Rehabilitation Centre

• Address: Back Beach Road
• City: Yarrabah
• State: Qld
• Post Code: 4871
• Phone #1: (07) 4056 9156
• Fax: (07) 4056 9274
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

Galiamble Half Way House for Men

Org Name: Galiamble Half Way House for Men

• Address: 66 Grey Street
• City: St Kilda
• State: VIC
• Post Code: 3182
• Phone #1: (03) 9534 1602
• Fax: (03) 9534 1119
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

FORWAARD

Org Name: FORWAARD 

• Address: 33 Charles Street Stuart Park
• City: Darwin
• State: NT
• Post Code: 0820
• Phone #1: (08) 8981 8673
• Fax: (08) 8981 7717
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

Ferdy’s Haven

Org Name: Ferdy's Haven

• Address: Lot 474 Coconut Grove
• City: Palm Island
• State: Qld
• Post Code: 4814
• Phone #1: (07) 4770 1152
• Fax: (07) 4770 1160
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

Dolly Garinyi Hostel

Org Name: Dolly Garinyi Hostel

• Address: 60 Boulter Road Berrimah
• City: Darwin
• State: NT
• Post Code: 0820
• Phone #1: (08) 8922 4808
• Fax: (08) 8922 4834
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

CAAAPU

Org Name: CAAAPU

• Address: 290 Ragonesi Road
• City: Alice Springs
• State: NT
• Post Code: 0870
• Phone #1: (08) 8955 4600
• Fax: (08) 8955 5385
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

Barrie Wiegold Hostel

Org Name: Barrie Wiegold Hostel 

• Address: Lot 271 Karoonda Road,
• City: Murray Bridge
• State: SA
• Post Code: 5253
• Phone #1: (08) 8532 4940
• Fax: (08) 8531 1995
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

7 Mile Rehabiliation Centre

Org Name: 7 Mile Rehabiliation Centre

• Address: 60 Great Northern Highway
• City: Wyndham
• State: WA
• Post Code: 6740
• Phone #1: (08) 9161 1806
• Fax: (08) 9161 1510
• Web:
• Email:
• Description:

Bridges

Please contact the Bridges team by: Email: info@bridges.org.au Phone: +612 9622 7511 Fax: +612 9831 7337 Mail: PO Box 577, Blacktown, NSW, 2148 Australia  

Bridges

Bridges aims to support people in making lifestyle and relationship choices and in managing conflict, while reducing the harm associated with alcohol and other drug usage. Looking at these issues within a social and family context, we work with communities, families and individuals, with a view to breaking down isolation and building on strengths. Location: Blacktown Website: http://www.bridges.org.au/page5880/BridgesHome.aspx Phone Number: (02) 9622 7511

Bourke Street Project

Bourke Street Project, has been operating as a Transitional Living Skills Program, for people moving away from problematic substance abuse. It provides a 9 month residential service for up to 15 men who require a supported program after attending residential drug and alcohol treatment, and prior to independent living. Location: East Sydney Website: http://www.haymarket.org.au/Services/bourkestreetproj.html Phone Number: (02) 9380 8043 Referrals 137-139 Regent Street, Chippendale NSW 2008 Phone: (02) 9698 0555 Fax: (02) 9310 1176 Email: manager.thc@haymarket.org.au   Copies from http://www.substance.org.au/referrals/referral-pathways/aod-treatment-services/

Adele House

Org Name: Adele House

• Address: PO Box 28
• City: Moonee Beach
• State: NSW
• Post Code: 2450
• Phone #1: (02) 96318854 or (02) 6699 1031
• Fax: (02) 6656 4644
• Email : vince@adele.org.au
• Web Page : http://www.adele.org.au
• Description: Adele is a Treatment Centre for Substance Abuse. It provides a safe environment for recovery for alcohol and other drug affected people.

  Also At  

Toongabbie

PO Box 325 Toongabbie, NSW, 2146 Toongabbie, NSW 2146 Phone             (02) 9631 8854 Fax (02) 9631 7675

Foundation 61

Org Name: Foundation 61

• Address: Po Box 105
• City: Newcomb
• State: Victoria
• Post Code: 3219
• Phone #1: 0408318417
• Web Page : http://www.foundation61.org.au/
• Description: Rehab for those for Life style issues, Caters for those with Drug and Alcohol issues as well. A&OD counsellors work with clients on a total abstinence base program. Clients are taught about budgeting and money management.
• Age Group: 18+ yo

Testing this Button :-)

Just testing

The nature of the leadership and authority required for the ministry and mission of the Church.

  Within our temporal journey of life, our actions are governed by the placement of our investment of love. Individuals may invest their love within atoms, placing their priority for gathering material items or the protection of an item above the emotional stability of others. When organisations, being a collection of like-minded individuals, invest their collective emotions into profits, control or ideological supremacy above the importance of the greater collective of people or the environment, conflict is bound and harmony is lost. In this age of modernity we are taught that we can invest our emotions into a host of things and ideas forsaking relationships with our family and neighbours. The pedagogy of self-interest comes in many forms today with the advent of multi-media, combined with universities and schooling, also norms of behaviour and truth are practiced with peers (Newbigin, 1989, p. 222 & 228). Thus an individualistic society is driven by fractured goals, the self becomes all important, to have a beautiful body, the best clothing, a fast car, the best house, a big television, the best computer, and the list goes on, dividing society into many subgroups competing against each other[1]. When investigating what nature of leadership and authority that is required for the ministry and mission of the Church, the direction of emotional investment is a tacit property throughout the various descriptions of requirements within the texts. I will illustrate that investing ones emotions into anything other than the servant-hood for the community and God, is a perversion on the meaning of Jesus' birth, life, death, and resurrection, promoting self-interest. When individuals live for them-selves and their own interest, the community is neglected and suffers in the process. Unfortunately the ambitions are expressed in every walk of life, no matter the arena. The individualistic mind set is not Church ethos. Individualism is destructive to the community, with hidden agendas with the potential abusive power to influence others (Newbigin, 226). Newbigin (226-229) openly talks against the use of the Church as a medium for profit making through the media and the use of "truth" as a means for propaganda. It thus is a contradiction to live in the light of Christ in one's private life and to neglect or ignore the grace of God in one's public life. Ministry and Mission of the Church Jesus charged His disciples with a noble mission, being the teacher of all teachers, He sent forth His disciples to make disciples of all nations, to teach, as He had commanded[2], to preach the Gospel[3], to preach repentance and forgiveness[4], and be His witness[5] (Lorenzen, 1995, p. 302). This, His mission is far more important than identity maintenance, structure, or political aspiration of the Church (Lorenzen, 1995, p. 296). The mission of the Church is a fellowship in the faith in Christ, to be communal, and collective, binding the society together, demonstrating that collective relationships are more important than individualistic endeavours (Lorenzen, 1995, pp. 296-297). Jesus' mission statement was not intended to start a new religion, Jesus told us, and showed us in His documented actions how we may serve God by serving each other (Lorenzen, 1995, pp. 298-301; Newbigin, 1989, p. 225). The universal Lordship of Christ is in holding the teachings of Jesus Christ as the norm for all Christians, within a society of conflicting norms. The universality of Jesus the Lord must remain flexible in the delivery of His mission taking into account the local social needs of the people and the environment that they live (Lorenzen, 1995, pp. 303-305). In this age of modernity the insidious powers of self-interest separates peoples through the fracturing of society with oppression, militarism and dehumanisation, while the pain of the populous is being self-medicated with consumerism (Lorenzen, 1995, p. 303).  The mission of Christ is to stand in solidarity with others, to "drink the poison of identifying with" those that are not liberated and living under the oppressions of modern society (Lorenzen, 1995, p. 304). Thus it is here argued that to have Christ as the integrating centre of people's lives, is to have Christ's mission as the central principal of life, to build the interrelationships of the community, and invest one's emotions in the wellbeing of the others, and not in self-interest.   Authority and Leadership Soon after the crucifixion of Jesus the Twelve apostles and other apostles along with prophets understood their role to continue Jesus' proclamation of the coming kingdom of God (Schillebeeckx, 1985, p. 77). This apostolicity foundation to the early communities thus continued the proclamation emulating the Apostles (ibid). The leaders of this early community were chosen cautiously and tested by fellow leaders such as Paul sending Timothy to investigate on his behalf[6], who had the same authority as Paul did (Schillebeeckx, 1985, pp. 78,80). Paul also clearly recognised that individuals were seeking leadership positions in the community for "their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ"[7]. Paul describes that God appoints individuals to their specific role for different forms of leadership and authority to assist each other, "first apostles, second prophets, third teachers; then deeds of power, then gifts of healing, forms of assistance, forms of leadership, various kinds of tongues"[8] (Schillebeeckx, 1985, p. 79). Yet not all individuals are intended to purely be leaders, healers, or translators[9]. Thus the calling of individuals through the Holy Spirit expressed to act with social ambitions for the benefit of society is evident in modernity (Kaye, 1996, p. 4) as it was recognised in history. Lorenzen (1995, p. 304) describes that the mission of Christ has been perverted over time into an institution to "save souls" through coercion by an imperialistic and colonialist manner. The religious elitism that upholds the authority and leadership of the Church appears to stem from Paul's call to the mission, to keep the Law of the Torah and to introduce it to the gentiles (Lorenzen, 1995, p. 305). Likewise for Paul, it was not enough for Gentiles to keep the Law of the Torah, Gentiles must proclaim Jesus as Messiah, and anything less was considered blasphemy and heresy (Lorenzen, 1995, p. 305). Apostolic claim to authority of leadership differ slightly between Luke and Paul. Luke asserts that to be an Apostle one must have "known and accompanied the historical Jesus", where as Paul recognises those that "experienced an encounter with the risen Lord"[10] (Lorenzen, 1995, p. 308). The succession of leadership within the Church[11] follows Paul's argument defining an Apostle, granting spiritual authority to the leaders of the Church, which include females (Lorenzen, 1995, p. 309). By taking the higher ground in morality and public truth brings its own challenges against the pre-established fractured norms in society not only in the days of Jesus and the Apostles but also now in modernity (Newbigin, 1989, pp. 222-223).The leaders of the church are required to mirror the mind of Christ, which impact on their actions by being like Jesus in His life, serving the people in the body of Christ, serving Christ (Lorenzen, 1995, pp. 314-315). With the attitude on morality and claim to truth comes the temptation of displaying a morally superior attitude, enforcing conformity, forsaking the people's freedom to come to Christ (Newbigin, 1989, pp. 223-224). Modern day fanatical religious people thrive on the fractured society threatening the freedom of democracy with growing mindless violence, vandalism, and the perceived decline in social morality of society, to their own detriment and to the detriment of others (Newbigin, 1989, p. 225). Newbigin (1989, pp. 228-229) asserts that the Christian community is not just to live for itself but to be deeply involved in the community with concerns for their neighbourhood, letting the gratitude of Christ to spill over into the greater community, bringing the concept of servant-hood in action to all peoples. Teaching the concept that Jesus taught, in saying "if I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet"[12]. Paul's churches are thus not  religious clubs for the self-interest of the religious elite, but servant churches working for the dignity of all humans, (Lorenzen, 1995, p. 305 & 311; Newbigin, 1989, p. 225) acting in the fellowship of Christ with a particular purpose of witnessing, whilst being a serving agency (Gilliland, 1983, pp. 184, 191). The collectivist view of Paul's metaphor for the church as a body is significant for the mission. The metaphor illustrates several points, as the body and church must function properly, must be mobile, be an instrument for available use, and not be an institution of vanity becoming an end in itself (Gilliland, 1983, p. 191). To identify God's aim, mission, and requirements to be followed by the followers of Christ, we turn to Acts. Acts is the missionary profile, job description, and evaluation instrument for the followers of Jesus (Achtemeier, Green, & Thompson, 2001, p. 251). The authority of the church stems from the mantel of authority taken up by the new generations that followed from the Apostles, to carry on the mission (Schillebeeckx, 1985, pp. 81-82). Over time the centralisation of power and authority for the leaders cemented into the Roman Catholic Church, with a hierarchical structure with the Pope at the summit, claiming an unquestionable authority, because the Church is sharing the authority of God (Schillebeeckx, 1990, p. 203). Although the wheels of change turn slowly within any bureaucratic organisation, the church is not spared, addressing issues from the French Revolution a century and a half later, than the secular society (Schillebeeckx, 1990, p. 206). The self-preservation of the church against the resistance to modernity and enlightenment beliefs, has been transformed into ministers being there for the service to the people, and that the Spirit is inclusive with all believers in their participation in the decisions of the church government (Schillebeeckx, 1990, pp. 200-202, 207, 209; Bosch, 1991, p. 519). It becomes apparent that when church leaders come together, conflict may occur based on the prioritising of issues which may be important in one community but not in others. The conflict that occurs in a meeting of leaders may seem to be of self-interest on the surface to others, but may in-fact be a real concern within that leader's specific community. For the Church to point out the universal salvific love of God for all peoples through Christ with the power of the Holy Spirit (Boff, 1981, p. 6) priorities on forms of deliverance are divided from region to region. Thus Paul's response to issues in specific churches hold true, that these issues can be handled by those communities without being dictated to by the wider community, but to stand in solidarity to promote happiness[13] (Gilliland, 1983, p. 276). In conclusion the nature of the leadership and authority required for the ministry and mission of the Church is that of empting one's self[14] of self-importance while working for self-interest for the individual or the church, but to invest one's emotions into the wellbeing of the community.    

References

  Achtemeier, P. J., Green, J. B., & Thompson, M. M. (2001). Introducing the New Testament: Its literature and theology. Cambridge: Wm. B Eerdmans Publishing Company. Boff, L. (1981). Church charism & power: Liberation theology and the institutional church. Great Britain, London: SCM Press Ltd. Bosch, D. j. (1991). Transforming mission: Paradigm shift in theology of mission. New York: Orbis Books. Encyclopædia Britannica 2002 Standard Edition CD-ROM. (2002). Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc. Gilliland, D. S. (1983). Pauline Theology & Mission practice. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Baker Books House. Goleman, D. (1996). Emotional intelligence. London: Bloomsbury Publishing. Kaye, B. (1996). The forgotten Calling? Theology and the vocation of the Laity. St Mark's Review , Spring, 3-12. Lorenzen, T. (1995). The Church and its Mission. In Resurrection and Discipleship: Interpretive models, Biblical reflections, Theological consequences (pp. 296-318). Maryknoll, New York: Orbis Books. Newbigin, L. (1989). The congregation as hermeneutic of the Gospel. In The Gospel in a pluralist society (pp. 222-233). Grand Rapids, Michigan: Eerdmans. Schillebeeckx, E. (1985). Ministry in the early communities of Christian believers. In The church with a human face: A new expanded theology of ministry (pp. 74-123). London: SCM. Schillebeeckx, E. (1990). The So-Called 'Classical' Face of the Church and the Other Face. In Church: The human story of God (pp. 198-228). New York: Crossroad.      

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[1] Some of the information in this paragraph is expressed in Goleman's (1996) book of Emotional intelligence.

[2] Matthew 28:19

[3] Mark 16:15

[4] Luke 24:46-49 and John 20:21

[5] Acts 1:8

[6] Phil 2:19-24

[7] Phil 2:21

[8] I Cor. 12:28

[9] I Cor. 12:29-30

[10] Acts 9:4-14

[11] (Encyclopædia Britannica 2002 Standard Edition CD-ROM, 2002) "Apostolic"

[12] John 13:14

[13] II Cor. 1:24, 2:10

[14] Philippians 2:5-8

Respecting others: Love and Fear in Obedience – Charming the Snake

I find that respect in others has its routes in the emotions that the powerful instil in the subordinate. The powerful demand respect, respect can be given back or not. It is the motivation of the given respect that dictates the core emotion, of either respect in fear or in love. Respect is the quality of attention, regard, or esteem one gives to another. This quality does not need to be balanced in power or quality of esteem. For instance a person that has the power to alter one's life at their whim may not deserve esteem, because that person has position power and abuses it to gain self-esteem. Thus the subordinate needs to give respect out of fear. When in doubt of the power or where you stand with that other person, logic would dictate that respect is given immediately, just as one would give respect to a snake, give it room and try to know whether there is danger or if understanding can be gained. We, humans know that the greatest threat to us in this age on modernity is not other creatures. The dangers lie in other humans, because we know that our motivations guide our actions, but we do not know the motivations of others. This is the respect out of fear. I consecrate here more on fear because that is where the world is acting out its control. This is the most practiced form of control over the longest amount of time. Used by religious groups of all types, political movements, and almost anyone that seeks riches through power. Money is a way of getting freedom, but the obsession with money creates slavery, and here in this slavery, fear of loss of all your possessions brings about a protection reflex. This fear of loss makes you instil fear in others so you can keep those possessions. When a person is in fear, they wish escape from the fear, though fear may also alter the behaviour to bring appeasement in the focus of fear. So the subordinate will to bring joy to the powerful so to avoid the negative hostile manifestation of that power. Avoidant behaviour is a way of controlling the self to control the feedback of others. Religion has used this fear in the population to instil fear of the Cop in the sky and the Hell below to have you control your behaviour to avoid the nasty consequences. Law is the same, we obey the rules of law so that we do not get incarcerated and shamed in society. Thus avoidant behaviour is a form of manipulation to charm the snake in your midst or the unknown person that you feel you need to appease. I the drug and alcohol field that I currently work in I see the affects of this prolonged stress of charming the snake. The addiction that a person has is a form of escape, most commonly seen in females that smoke cannabis or drink so they can put up with an abusive relationship. This also happens in males as well but not talked about, because the male is supposed to be always seen as the perpetrator.  Being in a relationship or working with the snake that needs charming is stressful and that stress needs to be released or subdued with drugs. The release of this stress is when the stress is taken home from work and let out on the people in the family. Or if it is a home it commonly comes out through addiction, otherwise it will come to work with you to manifest in controlling others and instilling fear in others at work. Charming the snake for a long time, the snake charmer gets to know the snake every well and can charm the snake with ease. There is an elution of friendship, and respect, but in reality the charmer knows the snake so well that the charmer can get the snake to do anything, but is always aware that the snake can bite and kill at any moment. Also the charmer watches every move of the snake so that the charmer does not get hurt. Psychologists call this; over sensitised, hyper-vigilant, or hyper-sensitised to another person. By demanding respect through fear will only exist when that focus of fear is present, and as the old saying goes, when the cat is away the mice will play. Thus when the partner, boss or co-worker is out of eye or ear shot, respect is gone. The emotional response to this fear is that there is no loyalty to the relationship or work place and the fearful will only go the extra mile if it is trough fear. Seeing fear in action looks like aggression and irritation, but what is wanted is to get out of the situation. Whereas respect out of love has it all, loyalty, obedience, going the extra mile and positive regard are present. This does not mean that the respectful person is doing these things out of duress or doing things that they do not wish do whatever. They do it because they want to, furthermore the esteemed one will not ask the respectful to do anything that the respectful does not wish to do. This is very much like the final speech in Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew", where the Shrew states that a hand should be placed under the husbands feet, this is because she knows that he will never ask it for respect through love. If a person loves society, the laws will be respected and obeyed because they know that breaking the law would cause harm to the self or others. Likewise a person in love with God, does not need any threat of hell, but will live with love to all beings because they know that they are all God's children or aspects of God incarnate just as you are.

Life Coaching: a way of looking at training.

At work, organisations would employ productivity analysts' to analyse the work done and then implement new practises to gain better productivity by the workers. This can take the form of redesigning the system and bringing new technology into the work place to speed up procedures, or retraining the staff to become better at their duties. Through out this a person or team of people come and coach the management and staff to become better at what they do.   Likewise, in the sporting profession we can list all the ways analysis' are utilised to improve the techniques, and game plans of the players to become the best at what they do. Analysts employ computer motion capturing to help adjust the minute movements of the player to increase performance. Likewise professional bike riders are placed in an air tunnel on their bikes to analyse the riding position, thus increasing performance. The smallest minutia of a player's actions are examined and honed to be as perfect as possible to increase performance.   Organisations spend loads of money to increase the productivity in their workers and performance in their sporting professionals, yet we spend nothing on our personal life to become better at being parents, partners, or carers. I know there are TV shows that do this on a small scale with a sample of people and then air it on TV as entertainment. Though I would like to have them show some of the skills they teach these participants on TV so that the wider community may also learn to live a happier life. On these self-help shows only a fraction is shown on how people can help them-selves, which is a shame.   I know the term "Life Coach" has a funny Americanised, a new age California type feel about it, which does not have a palatable feel about the terminology for some people. But when a person has not got the knowledge or skill to improve their life, the most common outcome which follows is depression. For people to become happier in their life at times only needs a small change in their activities, while others may need many small changes to reach a happier life style. Yet some people shun and this idea that help is not needed because "this is how it has always been and I'm ok Jack", but actively participate in improving their performance on the work site or golf course through teachers of one sort or another.   In this age of modernity, with advanced civilisation, and with our social wisdom, we no longer live in a home with three generations under the same roof. Thus the way things are instead is that both parents work while the child is at home alone, looking after them-self doing what they want till the parents comes home from work. Communication in the family is almost nonexistent because at best these are people sharing the same address. So the parents expect the schools to teach the children the values and skills that have always been in the hands of the family. The families that are lucky enough to have a third generation in the house to help with the upbringing of the children, the family values will be passed on through modelling. The best song that illustrates how children learn is "Cats in the Cradle". Thus if you wish to see how your children will grow up, just look at your own behaviour and you will see your children, and if you are not around, look at the people that are bring your child up. I read in a book about child rearing that many people spend about 30 years recovering from what happened to them in the first 5 years of their life. This is where a Life Coach comes in to help the person learning all the skill that they missed out on as a child.   In conclusion, professionals will hone all the small minutia of their actions to become the best at their game and to be number one so they can bring in the big dollars, yet may live an unhappy life because they do not employ the same professionalism to their privet life. So please refer to the previous posting to read about how important happiness is in your life.  

Actions in life: Motivations to what to do.

I have often been thinking of the idea of life. The question comes to mind, what is this all about? I listen and read subject matter about these issues and they all come up with the idea that life has no meaning. Some state that life is a school or training ground for what ever comes next, others say that only God has the meaning. But the most respected people say that it has no reason but to be, in the being of life is the only meaning. So if life has no other meaning other than to be, what is the best way to be? But then if we ask the same question in the other ideas about life we may still come to the same answer. So let's just state these questions out.  

• What is the best way to be?
• What is the best way to learn?
• What is the best way to get into God's kingdom?
• What is the best way to reach nirvana?
• What is the best way to live in Christ?
• What is the best way to reach enlightenment?

  I like question, because a good questions can lead you to a good answer, and the simple question gives the best answers. So how can we answer all these questions at the same time.   I can tell you how to be that is best for our bodies. There is only one emotion that puts the body in it's most optimal state, where the immune system is at its highest effectiveness, the body repairs it self the fastest, and puts the least amount of stress on the heart and the other mussels' in the body. The connection with others in happiness and love, bringing into actions the empathy with all of life, sharing in the joys of being, heightens every aspect of the body to function at its best. Being at this state of love with all of life and being in positive connections with others is the physiological answer to each of these questions, it is almost as if God created us, or designed us to be in this state for our best advantage to reach the goals in the questions through our body.   Now the body is at this state, next is the brain. The brain working in the same state of happiness, joy, and love with life and the connection with others, works to help the body and helps its self. In this state of being, the brain concentrates with longer duration and the information is retained in long term memory faster. Though with the subject of memory, any heightened emotional state will embed information into memory fast. Only happiness will enhance information storage that is taught to you by intentional teaching by another into long term memory. Also in this state the connection with nature and your environment become more intense, as the wonders of nature brings further joy.   Now that we come this far, it is through the state of happiness, joy, and love of life you begin to see the folly of man in their states of fears, frustrations, manipulations, and intimidations of other and towards nature it self. It is with and through this connection with everything around you, and then you will find the connection with God, without any manmade intervention. Just like any other emotion, the emotion of happiness, joy and love spreads like a virus to those around you, and so it spreads as a ripple affect in society.   Now what does this look like in a person's behaviour? This person can do anything they want to do, but what they want to do is to increase the feelings of happiness, joy and love within others, so that they also receive the same in the response. Thus the definition of doing anything they want is contingent in what they what to receive from others.   In reality, with what we live with now in society, the translation of what we love is corrupted by our language and thus by our short term view of what love and happiness or joy is. So here we have a love of money, because it supplies us joy and happiness, though this is only short term. As soon the item desired is acquired the joy and happiness will only last a few days or weeks. What we neglect in this is the connection with others, instead fear, jealousy, envy, frustration, etc, is created in others because they have the item and others do not.   Likewise, love is misplaced to the point that the liberties of others become limited through the control over them, with the assumption that it is an act of love. Now this works well for children when they do not see the dangers that may surround them, but when this limitation of liberty on adults is conducted, an emotional response become imminent. You may stop a child from mountain climbing, but instead foster the enthusiasm by finding an instructor for the child to build a skill. Though this is a different matter when you try to do the same thing to an adult. Whereas Love placed appropriately gives advice, and guidance to an adult, with the ability to let go when resistance surfaces, thus giving liberty with information of consequences.   This is where we work with love, with the understanding that life is love and that God is love. It is when we act to limit the freedom or liberties of others without love, we create fear, frustration, and manipulation in other. In these reactionary responses in others we receive the behaviour that we initiate in them. Thus we receive the anger, abuse, or violence from our attempt to control others without a well reasoned motivation for their well-being. Because when the client or recipient of your control asks why this control over them is use, it is with an explanation the client or recipient will understand and comply with your control or negotiate another cause of action.  

MAP of Rehabs

The information I have on this website about Rehabs in Australia is not complete, so I hope you can assist me by emailing me about other Rehabs you know of.   This Map will be constantly updated as information is gathered.

Change

This video is about my web page and a lot about change it self. Watch live video from Ripple Affect on Justin.tv

Justin.tv

I have been playing around with www.justin.tv as a place I can do Video Blogs and Live streaming. I have one video up there now and had fun doing it. But I have found that the lighting is bad :-(

http://www.justin.tv/rippleaffect

Welfare Mentality: Jumping off the Rodent Wheel

When looking for how people get welfare mentality we need to look at several theories of social learning and development of schemas. Within social learning there is a concept of "scaffolding" and "modelling". I will first explain these concepts. Scaffolding is the concept that the teacher is keeping their teaching slightly higher that the student. The term scaffolding comes from the building trade, where the scaffolding is always slightly higher than the building the builders are building. Just like this the teacher always tries to educate at a slightly higher ability of the student. Modelling is what kids do when watching their parents, friends, and what ever multimedia they use. So in essence kids copy behaviour to learn what "appropriate" behaviour is within the social network of the family. So you can see that these terms are not really difficult to understand, though these ideas are not really thought about unless you have been told about them. Now I need to add in to this the mind trap, aka schema. This is when we have one script of behaviour through life and when we want or need to change our behaviour or way of thinking, it is incredibly difficult to do without help or training. Because how can a person change when you do not know what to change into, which is like the mouse running on the wheel and told to jump off the wheel, and the poor mouse has never jumped off the wheel before. Likewise if a person has not been taught to get of a treadmill at speed, and accident is bound to occur, thus trepidation keeps them on the treadmill. So being stuck in the welfare trap I feel is not a matter of skills, knowledge, or abilities that one has, but an attitude that a person has developed of inherited. An attitude of poverty is developed when being bourn into poverty or if someone has been in poverty or some time. Not too many people have learnt to budget or keep a running account of the home. But people do keep all the bills in mind and in sight and try to pay them first and save every where they can. The attitude shift here is also in gratification delay, so one does not go out and spend all the pay in one day on what you want. This is why the bills like the electricity, rent, phone, and food gets priority and then think about buying things for yourself. Also an attitude shift takes place from that of self-reliance versus relying on others for survival. There is a theory that those that received pocket money from their parents in childhood are being taught to be reliant on others for their survival thus taught to have a welfare mentality (http://wealthisgood.blogspot.com/2011/05/allowances-create-welfare-mentality.html). Though it may also be that when people experience receiving welfare from an organisation break the self-pride and become accustom to receiving help thus view it as a source of income not welfare. It is also seen that pocket money and welfare does not teaches people the value of work and the association of the value of money. It is through work and the remuneration for the work that we comprehend that money is a token for work done, and that what we are trading is not money but work done in the form of tokens being money. It is a funny thing that a lecturer of mine at UNI stated that to traverse the red tape to receive welfare takes a lot of knowledge in what entitlements are available, skill in filling in forms, passions in dealing with government workers, and work to fulfil requirements. Though there are some that see that having a job is not advantageous to their life style. Being on welfare means that travel concessions are given, medication and doctor appointments are highly subsidised, rent and electricity is reduced, free counselling, and lots of free time to live. When a person works all this is lost. So in a summery from my view, a welfare mentality is an attitude of what you are willing to settle for in your life and how you wish to live it which represents the amount of welfare one receives. Granted this view excludes people with mental health reasons of being on welfare.

In Exile from our self: Where am I?

Do you say to your self statements like:

• When I get that new car I will be happy.
• All I need is that right relationship, then I will be happy.
• Once I have my debts payed off I will be happy.
• That person makes me angry.
• I would die without him or her.
• He or She completes me.
• You are the reason I am in this situation.

All these statements take the concentration form the self and transfer it to an external source. It is likewise saying that there is no control within the self to modify, control, or shift one's emotionality. If a person treats another with anger or contempt, that person is then blamed for treating the other like that, the other person takes the emotional concentration from the self and places control in the other. But the initial question should be, what did I do to get that behaviour in the first place? But the question I am interested in is how did we get this way in the first place? We are taught to see our self separate from others, from nature, and from a higher power. We are in essence in self exile from the unity of everything that is not of the core self individual. From reading and listening to the works of Joseph Campbell, all the myths are trying to teach us the unity of everything and that the power is within the self to work in unity with everything. Thus the self is the source of everything and everything is part of the self. The hero in a myth transcends the concerns' of the self, to become a person that controls the world around them-selves by controlling the self. The hero brings out the best in others by demonstrating the best within them self. This happens through the understanding of transcending the concepts that have no language that can describe the state of being. The hero is not in exile from the self, where we are taught in the Western and Middle Eastern world that we are in exile from the self. This is why God is separate from the self, and Nature is separate from the self. I have talked to clients that blame others for the wows in their life, and seek happiness in being is the company with others. In talking to them, and explaining to them that the source of there woes and happiness is sort for within the self, is an alien concept. Some do not understand, others understand intellectually but do not live it, and the very few that do succeed know it and do it. This last group that know and do it are in the TAO of Power. The group that know it intellectually are interesting, their cup is full but they do not drink from the cup. The intellectual can talk the talk, but they still seek controlled to through force and thus the force bounces back and creates fear within them, manifesting as anger. Thus still the source of woe still emanates externally. When it is discovered that the self is in control of its emotional state then the awakening comes, that changing emotional state becomes a choice, and can be directed appropriately. In this state of awareness, the view will come that there is no such thing a bad emotion or good emotion, there is just emotion that can be directed. Thus anger is a very helpful emotion when directed and use properly. Anger helps a person act when there is a breach of ethical behaviour in others and motivates a person to create social change, like there is now with the slow erosion of our civil liberties by the governments that we vote in and lie to us. Likewise sadness is our connection with empathy to others and with the situation that we are currently in, and motivates us to form stronger bonds with significant others. The lack of understanding of our emotions and lack of ability to control our emotions is being in exile from our selves. While being in exile from the self severs the connection to understand other people's emotions and motivations, thus being in exile from society and being truly an individual, ignoring the needs of others. Likewise being in exile from one's self, divorces us, and forces us to be in exile from the land around us. This is how we are out of accord with nature, and acting without emotion towards nature, thus we take what we want without care of the future of the land it-self. This then gives our society a lack of understanding of the connection of the self to everything around up. We view those with power to destroy, and power over others as people to emulate and glorify. This is why there is a vacuum in society glorifying wisdom and connectedness, instead we glorify everything you see on the TV News each night. To give an example, people are willing to lie, cheat, and do harm to others just for fame, so the perpetrator can get on TV and receive attention.

Love Languages

Here is something that I have talked about on past postings :-) This web page outlines some ways to show love :-) 75 Ways to Show Love in Relationships

Map

Self Fulfilling Prophecy: Make your own Prophecy for the future.

Some years ago I saw a documentary about a violin school, and in this documentary the teacher got all the new students to write a 5000 word essay about what they would like to see in them self at the end of their studies. The teacher then stated that every student became what they wrote in their essay. I did the same many many years ago in a journal that I kept, at one stage I wrote that I wanted to become a paranormal psychologist. Funny enough I never thought about going to University till 2001, so now I am almost a full psychologist and am studying theology, I have also studied with a TAO master. I had forgotten all about this till one day I found that entry in my journal when I was flicking through it. Thus I have told others to imagine and write down what they see of them self in 2 or 5 years in detail.   In psychology a self fulfilling prophecy was discovered in schools and with rats. Firstly in schools when a teacher believes that a student is incapable of being taught the belief of the teacher comes true, even when the belief is manufactured. Likewise with rat studies, there was a maze study with rats that students had to do for their course. A family of brother and sister rats were split up between two teams of students. The first team (team 1) was told that their rats came from a long genetic line of great maze running rats, while the second team (team 2) were told that their rats are stupid rats. Team 1 treated their rats with more kindness and spent more time with them in the maze. Their rats learnt the maze in fewer days, while team 2 treated their rats unkindly and did not spend much time with them. So you can now guess that the team 2 rats took longer to learn the maze. Both of these studies, the teacher study and the rat study was designed by psychologists to study self fulfilling prophecies.   There is so much more I can type about this subject, but here thus far I have talked about a self fulfilling prophecy that is driven from within and another that is driven externally. Self fulfilling prophecy when driven from externally become part of your schema (script of behaviour) and can be hard to fight, but any taught behaviour can be un-learned. So when we talk to people you need to come from a place of love, because any words of judgment will be taken in by the listener and change the listener. That is why it is harmful to anyone to throw out global attacks on other people. Harmful attacks are statements that are not specific. For example "you are hopeless", "you make me sick", "go get a life", "your fat", and many more. These are attacks that the receiver can do nothing about but to choose to believe them, and live them. Where as specific attacks can be either constructive criticism or harmful attacks. So a constructive criticism is something like "you are bad at doing that, you need to practice", but a specific harmful attack is a comment such as, "you suck at that". When you receive an attack like this, you have a choice to say in your mind "No I am not" or "yes I agree with you", to internalise the comment.   To create your own self fulfilling prophecy, statements of affirmation is a great start and a staple in the diet of self belief. In prison, the inmates are told to stand in front of the mirror first thing in the morning and tell them-self "I am going to have a great day" and it happens. I know that one bad thing told to you from a loved one means more that 1000 good things told to you from friends or strangers, and what you tell your self means nothing. This is so wrong, for you to get your life on the direction that you want. You should believe that what you tell your self means everything 1000 times more that any negative word told to you by anyone.   Spiritual teachers may call this "the law of attraction", but it is really all the same. If you have been given a negative self fulfilling prophecy that you are living out and what to change, you need to change your thoughts, words, and actions. If you wish to create your own self fulfilling prophecy to create a life you want you need to do the same thing, live through your thoughts, words, and actions.   In saying this, if you have your thoughts, and words full of fear, those fears will come true because the self fulfilling prophecy is that you wish to live in fear. Like wise if your thoughts are full of want, your self fulfilling prophecy is that you wish to live in a state of want. All your actions will emanate those feelings. Thus if you are a person that really fears job lose or losing your partner, your actions will reflect those fears, changing your behaviours to jealousy, worry, and anger. You will question every word that is stated and every action that is taken by your boss, co-workers, or partner.   I may have said in a previous blog posting, that David Attemborough started that what ever you look for in the behaviour of animals that is what you will find in your observations. You will find the same type of statement in the movie "what the bleep do we know" in the context of quantum physics, if a person wants to see light as a particle that is what they will observe, and if a person wants to see light as a wave, this too shall be observed based on the types of experiments performed.   To examine your own fears or what ever you are consumed with that may be a negative self fulfilling prophecy, get a note pad and start asking your self questions about what has been on your mind for the last few days. If you see a pattern of wingding, complaining, questioning others, etc. you will see that these are all from the external world which are not productive for yourself. It is then time to start asking questions about how you can advance your self. Your questions should start to become that of discovery, learning, and self development, or as Neale Walsh states it, as remembering you god nature within, because if you are not within you are without.

Attitude to work: The flow of energy.

When working, some people go to work fearing the worst, or hating the work they do. If a person goes to work with fear, that is, dreading the sound of the phone, fearing the customers that they may have a go at you for something, such as the service you are trying to give. While others go to work with hatred, hating the people that they work with and the clients they try to service. Just like in a previous posting, the person throwing fear and hatred out to others, that fear or hatred comes back instantly, and in many cases transforms to anger and aggression and then comes back to the give through the behaviour of the customers. So what happened is that people that are fearful or hate their work, create a workplace that they are fearful of or hate.   I work with people that are sensitive to negative states in others because of their history of abuse, I thus go to work intentionally changing my energy level. This alters my attitude, behaviour, and the way I talk to the clients. When I am not at work I do not need to be intentional about my energy level, because I make it a point that to be there, but knowing that the flow of energy wants to equalise, and being around people that are depressed and down, or suffering, I want enough energy to go around to everyone. So by having this thought, and making it an intentional action, my behaviour becomes so happy and friendly that others in the unit also lift their energy. Richard Bandler (Nuro-Linguistic programming) talks about this in some detail, he states that your energy level (negative or positive and everything in between) will affect every one around you, and like wise, you will be affected by their energy levels. Thus when I go to work, I have never had a truly dangerous or bad shift with the clients, unlike some other staff members that I work with. This is because I place each person in the centre of my attention and give them what they desire the most, and that is respect and the care that they have not had in a long time, if ever.   I have in the past been accused by others that I am not employed to be the client's friend. This at first sounded strange to me because that was not my intention. Then I discovered that the Rogerian client centred approach of being genuine with the clients, have positive regard, empathy build, and rapport, looks like "being a friend" to co-workers. This approach is more than a technique that you can just use without employing your entire being. The Rogerian approach needs the employment of your belief system, attitude, and the ability to love the client no matter what they have done in their history. I know this because I have worked with murders, rapists, and thieves, and victims of some atrocious acts of human indecency. It is in this profession, that if a therapist comes from a place of hatred or fear, the client suffers more and in extension society suffers when these people are back in the community. But if a therapist comes from a place of love, the client gives respect, appreciation, and a wish not to let themselves or the therapist down. The therapist becomes a person that the client wants to emulate.   Now you can look at this and think that the unit dynamics changed because of the physical body language that I was using. Although body language alone could not be the answer, because if I acted the positive body language without having the attitude, could it still have the same affect? Even using the Stanislavski method of acting, I would need to draw the attitude in from some previous experience I had before thus building or manufacturing my energy to form that attitude. Likewise, could I use the word energy at all? Although that is what emotions is, energy in motion, and when I concentrate and enhance the positive emotions, I am using my energy to lift my energy, thus it is in motion.

Reality TV: The reality behind the reality.

[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="352" caption="reality-tv-event-television"][/caption] Pondering over shows such as "Survivor", "Master Chef", "RTA", and "Customs" bought some enlightening thoughts about the lives we live. As I have made postings about the decisions we make, and the fight we have between being reactionary creatures, and that of being a being of awareness. Reality TV is a tool driven by the collective conscience to show us that we have the power to make our reality.   I was watching Customs, and when you look at the drama that befalls the people coming into the country, it is well known that these people that get caught with drugs or illegal items make some stupid decisions. Now that you read this, it all seems very simple and one really needs to be blind not to see the message. But I find it interesting to discuss it.   So a person takes a journey, making a decision long be for the journey starts to try to smuggle drugs, tobacco, or one's self into a new land. This is akin to the hero's journey, but decisions and the thought behind those decisions have power to change or make your reality.   The decision to take a known risk is a gamble and when one looses the consequences will be inevitable. Though separated in time each person is aware of their own doing and undoing.  Some think that it is all a game and is played as so, though the game player becomes the character that they betray. Thus a peaceful person playing the game as a vengeful one will become vengeful and fight to come back to peace once they come back to their own world. But if the person deceits for personal gain, deceit was in the being from long before the decision was taken, but is the person deceiving one's self. This is because we are the person that we are being, and once a behaviour is put into practice is defines us at that time and follows us in the decisions we made during a time of deception. For each of us is still haunted by the ripples of those actions through time. This is why when a person spent some time in jail when young,  find it difficult to travel to other countries years later.